


Aqualung

by Living_Underground



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Fish, Gen, It's sad guys, i cried so bad when writing this, i don't even think i can tag it properly because of that, i'm warning you now, mulder and his son, mulder scully and their baby, scully and her son, they play a pretty big role
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:49:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28543602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_Underground/pseuds/Living_Underground
Summary: A sad little fic about baby William and fish, essentially.
Relationships: Dana Scully & William | Jackson Van De Kamp, Fox Mulder & William | Jackson Van De Kamp, Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	Aqualung

**Author's Note:**

> I cried so much whilst writing this I'm so sorry. Don't let that put you off from reading now though, we all need a cathartic little cry now and then.

i.

Three soft breaths filled the room. Scully’s, almost a snore as she slept heavily beside him, and their son’s, his snuffly little wisps over in the crib. They were at peace, for the moment, and he wished, oh how he wished, they could stay like this forever, frozen in time. His Scully and his William and him. Content in the darkness of night, their heartrates almost syncing.

He was scared to sleep. Shut his eyes and it might all vanish. Sleep and he risked waking from the dream. This was, he was convinced, a hallucination of some kind, a vision, meant to placate him whilst impossible things were being done to his brain: it had happened before.

But no, Scully saved him that time. And this time everything made a little more sense, held more favour in continuity.

Well, mostly.

He had a son. A son. A baby. A tiny little human. He couldn’t stop murmuring it, just to convince himself it was real. His son. His child. His baby. He had his Scully and his son and he didn’t think there was anything else he could ask for even if he thought the universe owed him any favours.

All was quiet until it wasn’t. A whimper; a frail stirring. A rattling cry.

He extricated himself from Scully, in three steps was around the bed and to the crib, scooping the child – his child – into his arms and slipping from the room with one final check over his shoulder to see Scully was still asleep. No need to wake her if possible. He’d nursed only an hour ago, and Scully had said two hours, _every_ two hours, a horrifying number to his ears. Not wanting to wake her prematurely, wanting to be able to handle something, anything on his own, he decided a diaper check was the next thing in order and one dry diaper later, William’s whines were easing to coos.

A combination of wanting to keep the bedroom quiet for Scully and not wanting to put his son down just yet had Mulder walking the apartment, newborn to his chest, pointing things out in a low voice.

‘That’s Mommy’s desk: she works there sometimes.’

‘That’s Mommy’s couch: she falls asleep there when we’re watching a movie.’

‘These are all Mommy’s books: she’s very, very clever just like you’re gonna be.’

‘This is the bath. Mommy likes taking baths. I think you will too.’

‘These are the fish,’ he paused, lump in throat, ‘these are _Daddy_ ’s fish. They’re gonna live here with us now.’

A small, chubby hand reached out to the flickering, gurgling blue light and he stopped there, crouching slightly so the baby – his baby – could watch the fishes. He knew there wasn’t much William could see yet – about eight inches or so, Scully had said – the colours seemed to entrance him with flashes of silver and orange, the bobbing of the little UFO Scully had bought him years ago, back when she first discovered he had fish.

‘You like those, little guy? They’re pretty cool, aren’t they? These ones, these are mollies. And that one there, he’s an angelfish. I think if your mom were a fish she’d be an angelfish because she’s so pretty but she’s also so tough. And these two pretty little ladies, these are gouramis – you like those ones, don’t you,’ he moved to the side of the tank, crouching down even further, bringing his son closer to the tank, ‘and this one, this one’s my favourite. He’s a blue phantom Plecostomus – isn’t that a cool name? and he looks like he’s covered in stars that have fallen from the sky, doesn’t he? Well, I guess you haven’t seen the stars yet. But you will, I promise. I’m gonna show you all the stars in the sky. And your mommy, she’ll tell you all the stories about them, because Ahab taught them to her when she was young. She’ll tell you about Ahab too, one day. And she’ll read you Moby Dick. And we’re gonna play baseball together, and I’ll teach you to shoot hoops if you want. We’ve got so much to do, Kid. You’ve got so much to look forward to.’

Arms reached around his waist, a body pressed into his back, and he leaned into her slightly, ‘hey. Did we wake you?’

Her head against one of his shoulders shook, ‘no, he’s gonna need feeding soon. My boobs hurt.’

He sighed, shifted their son to one arm so he could hold the other out and wrap it around her, ‘I wish I could help you with that.’

‘Hmm, sadly there’s only one guy who can help me with this problem,’ she said, slotting herself into his side and playing with a onesied little foot.

‘Pizza guy?’

‘You ever gonna let that drop?’

He dropped a kiss to the top of her head, ‘never. I’ll always be wary of that guy. Maybe we should change pizza place?’

‘Nope. I like my pizza guy.’

He sighed melodramatically, ‘well then I’ll always be jealous of your relationship.’

‘There a reason you’re keeping our son awake other than you getting lonely?’

‘Say that again, Scully.’

‘What?’

‘Our son. I like the way it sounds,’ he grinned giddily, ‘Scully, we have a son. _We_ have a son. We have a _son_. He’s ours, a little bit of you and a little bit of me.’

‘Well, _our son_ should be sleeping. We need to try and develop a sleep-schedule with him. It will make our lives infinitely easier.’

‘I changed his diaper, but I didn’t want him to wake you afterwards so I gave him the guided tour of the apartment. I was just introducing him to the fish.’

‘He likes them.’

‘Mm, he settled pretty easily when we stopped here. Happy to just watch and listen. He was getting pretty sleepy ‘til you came through.’

‘He’s probably starting to get hungry. I’ll feed him then we all need to sleep. You too.’

‘I’m scared I’ll lose you.’

She shook her head, pressed her lips to the underside of his jaw, ‘you’re not going to lose us, Mulder. We’re not going anywhere, nothing’s going to happen. You’ll sleep and you’ll wake up and we’ll still be here tomorrow.’

ii.

For two whole days, they were a family. Bliss.

Or, at least, some version of bliss that involved raw nipples and being woken every couple of hours throughout the night and diaper changes that ended in all three of them requiring baths and showers.

And then their world shattered and the illusion came crumbling to pieces around them with the slip of a note under the door.

They spent a night awake, crying and arguing. He wouldn’t leave her, wouldn’t leave them. He’d come too far to do such a thing. She wouldn’t let his presence harm their child. It would only be temporary – maybe it will only be for a couple of weeks, surely it’s better safe than sorry. Their priority had to be their son now.

He packed what he could carry. Held her in his arms as they both cried. Carried a wide-eyed William around the apartment. Pulled a chair up to the fish tank and told him the names of all the little fishies. Read Goodnight Moon to him, in case it was goodbye for good and he never got another chance to read it to him. He soaked Scully’s t-shirt with tears as he clung for dear life, body shaking with wracking sobs. Promises murmured over and over in her ears, promises that he’d come back, he’d love her and their son, he’d think of them every minute of every day he was gone, he’d write and he’d stay safe and he’d keep them safe and he wouldn’t do anything stupid, I promise, Scully, I won’t, I won’t, I’ve got you two now, I won’t.

iii.

It became routine. Every morning, once he was changed and fed and dressed, they said hello to the fish. She’d lean against the opposite wall with him perched in her arms and they’d spend at least ten minutes watching them swim around whilst she chewed on what toast she could stomach.

In the evenings she’d pull the rocking chair into the hallway, sit down in the dim glow of the tank, and tell him stories about his father as he nursed. They’d rock. They’d watch the fish. He’d settle to sleep on the hymn of her voice and the gurgle of the filter.

She stopped eating pizza.

As he grew and hit milestones, he became more entranced with the fish. He’d point to specific ones; the angelfish, the blue, spotty plec, and he’d babble away. She’d let him help feed them, guiding his hand as he sprinkled a fist of flakes in, wiping his fingers with the wet wipes she’d taken to keeping on the lid of the tank.

Their last day together was spent entirely in front of the fish, rocking slowly back and forth. She’d cried throughout the night as she packed his bag, making sure he had everything he’d need for the journey and for his new home. Now she just sat, her baby in her lap, telling him everything. Telling him how much she loved him, how much his daddy loved him. Telling him how happy he was going to be.

A knock on the door and she simply called a ‘come in,’ not having the strength to get up, let whoever it was in. She struggled to care at this point. There was only one person it would be.

‘Do you need a minute, Agent Scully?’

She shook her head, and with a cracked voice, ‘there aren’t enough minutes in the world.’

Their son was lifted from her arms, her one last link to Mulder taken from her, and she folded in on herself. Doggett’s hand on her shoulder, his words of comfort, and his mention of Monica staying over were all lost to her.

iv.

Her son took to water like a fish. Would spend hours in the bath, scream the house down when the plug was pulled. At mom and baby swimming group he’d splash and squeal and laugh more than the rest of the children put together.

After a year of swimming lessons, he was moved two classes ahead.

After spending the afternoon of the first day of a trip to visit family in Utah swimming in the Great Salt Lake, he pleaded every morning for the rest of the two weeks they were there to go back, to let him swim there _just one more time_.

They went to the pet store once, just to look around, and lost him in the aquarium section, only to find him, nose pressed to the glass, hypnotised by a tank of whiskered orange and blue striped fish darting about.

‘Hey, Honey, what have you found?’

‘They’re gouramis.’

‘They’re very pretty.’

‘Uh-huh,’ he nodded, dragging his finger along the tank and watching them follow. 

‘We’ve got to be heading home now.’

‘Okay,’ he nodded, pulling away from the glass and moving on before stopping at another tank, ‘hey, Mom, come look at this.’

‘What is it, Baby?’

‘It’s a blue phantom Plecostomus.’

She smiled at her son with a frown, eyes darting to the label on the tank that was definitely above his eye-height, ‘how do you know that, Jackson?’

He shrugged, eyes not leaving the fish, ‘dunno. Just do. It’s like he’s covered in all the stars from Heaven, isn’t it, mom?’

‘Yeah, Baby,’ she ruffled the hair of her miracle boy, ‘yeah, it is.’

**Author's Note:**

> All the fish in Mulder's fish tank were inspired by the fish in my brother's fish tank because I know about them and know they all live pretty well together. We know he had Mollies but other than that I had to guess. I decided to keep away from some of the stranger species my brother has in his tank. So, whilst not overly important, all of the fish I wrote about will live quite happily together.


End file.
